if you compliment me once i’ll think about it every night for twelve years
(Source: oshead)
I’M JAVERT
I’M I’M JAVERT
I’M JA-VE-VE-VE-VE-VE-JAVERT
NOW PRISONER 11111
YOUR TIME IS UP AND YOUR PAROLE’S BEGUN
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
YES
MEANS I’M BREAD
NO
WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY FAKJDDa
oh my god what the fuck /ugly laughing
- (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
- Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
- Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
- Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
- Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
- (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
→ New Girl meme → three friendships → [2/3] Jess x Cece
Sometimes she just calls me up and she’s like ‘Bitch! I love you!’ and then she just hangs up. No other information.
This was literally the funniest one. Even He couldn’t help but laugh.
(Source: thisiswhereiletmymindexplode)
how are we almost in june i swear we were in march 2 days ago
